Unicorn ring

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A couple of months ago, the glorious Laura over at Make Do And Mend published a blog on the cusp of her 30th birthday confessing to the 10 things she still hasn’t mastered by the age of 29. This was quickly re-blogged by the marvellous Mystery Moor. Given that I have reached that grand old age of 29 myself (although I still have 10 glorious months of my twenties left) it got me thinking about my very own list.

1. How to be smart in the kitchen and not give myself burns

www.pictacular

I’ve learnt from painful experience that there are two things that really don’t mix; ovens and extreme tiredness. Unfortunately for me I am usually whipping up my dinner after a long day of work, plus socialising or Spanish night school, meaning it’s 10pm and I’m bumbling around the kitchen and this inevitably ends in burn town. The amount of times my food sits going cold whilst I stand whimpering with my arm under the cold tap is ridiculous. Also my burns are getting worse the older I get. This little sad face happened two months ago and even after drowning in Savlon and daily bio-oil application, it still looks exactly the same as the day I did it.

2. How to spell restaraunt. The red squiggly line under my first attempt says it all!

3. To top my bloody oyster up online. Every time my pay-as-you-go runs out of money and I go on a fruitless hunt for a shop that sells oyster top-up, then give up and queue at Oxford Circus for 30 minutes to use the machine… the machine helpfully prompts “why not top up online next time?” and I think YES, you idiot, why NOT do this from the comfort of your comfy chair instead of turning it into a high-stress Jack Bauer style race against time. Then I instantly forget. This has been going on for seven years.

4. How not to spill. If adult bibs suddenly because fashionable and chic, I’d be first in line. I really like crab shacks where you get those novelty disposable bibs, as they are what I need for every meal in every day life. I’ve purposely introduced more and more excessively busy prints to my wardrobe as it’s the only way to avoid being busted for having zero hand/mouth/eye coordination. No one can spot the tomato soup down my chest if it’s buried in technicolour cats… right?

5. How to like beer. It’s been a long road but I’ve finally accepted fruit beer (which lets face it, is the equivalent of drinking jam) into my life. Nick’s second home is the Camden Town Brewery Bar and theirs is the only beer I almost-sortof-kinda like! And even then I can only cope with the very light Pale Ale. But… it’s a start.

beer

6. How and what food is ok to freeze and then eat. Also I freeze milk, despite the fact it says “not suitable for home freezing”. The world is so confusing.

7. How to poach an egg. Writing this post inspired me and I had a good try last week. After losing one egg to the bin, one wobbling around as an un-edible ghost in the pan… the final two weren’t that bad. I used these tips from The Guardian. I also recently learnt to make heart-eggs for my packed lunch, which is way more fun!

8. How to paint my nails without smudging it. I just put glitter over the smudged ones though. So I have mastered nail-stealth.

9. How to dress like an adult. This is an actual conversation that happened in my office yesterday. Me: “Is this rose-hair-crown too much for work?” My colleague: “Well you wore a dress with a giant cat face on it last week, so…” Anyway I blame fashion. If they stopped making dungaree dresses, I wouldn’t be able to dress this way!

cat dress

unicorn

10. Where my home is. I don’t want to live in Yorkshire again, I have the serious seven-year itch with London… I want to live by the sea, but I want to be able to buy a burrito at 2am. I want space, and cats, and dogs, but I want the buzz of a city and my friends in walking distance. Basically I don’t know where I’ll be living in 5 years time, or 10 years time, because I don’t think I’ve found home yet. And home is where the heart is. Help…

> I forgot to mention last month that the lovely Sally aka Queenie and the Dew featured me as part of her “Why I Blog…” series, and you can take a look here.

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