Latest and (not all) Greatest

I’ve alluded to a tough week, and this is never a blog where I shy away from being honest about my personal life, so I feel like I should just share this before I go back to talking about cheeseburgers and nail varnish. Those of you who were readers through the woes of Rubbishtober 2012 will know that life as I knew it took a nose dive lat year, as I was diagnosed with a whopping ovarian cyst, which proceeded to rupture and I needed emergency surgery to remove. As far as I was concerned, and to be honest the doctors led me to believe, that would be that. Surgery, cyst removed, life as normal. Sadly thought it hasn’t quite worked out like that. I have never been quite right since my operation and haven’t been able to shake a niggly feeling that something still wasn’t 100%. After various checks, tests and me sulking until they sent me for another scan (which is so unpleasant I wouldn’t be begging for it if I wasn’t really worried) and last week I found out that I have not one, but two cysts, on the same place they removed the last one. Well, my mum always said I wasn’t one to do things by halves.

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Anyway, it turns out the surgeons didn’t remove all the endometriosis in my last operation. This is a decision apparently they may have made to try and protect my healthy ovary by not getting too close to it with the surgical tools… However this wasn’t something I’d been told at any point in the 6 months since my surgery, so safe to say, it was pretty devastating. I’d been led to believe everything had been well and truly removed. In a way it was a relief to have some answers to my ongoing wishywashy health vibes, but in another I feel really let down and out of control of my own body. The good news is that the cysts aren’t currently big enough to need surgery again, so I get a break from operations for  little longer. In fact there is a chance it might not grow and I can just live with it (like a really unwanted body-pet). However in a year I go back for a scan and if it’s even grown by a cm, I’ll be back under the knife. So for now, I’m focussing on the positives and all the amazing things I need to fill my life with in the next year just in case I do have another bad patch. I’ve not been able to wear mascara since this happened because it’s made me turn into a weeping willow and has been a real brain battle to get my head around. But so that’s the crummy bit…

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The good bit is how INCREDIBLE my friends and family and of course, Nick the wonder boy, have been. They rode every roller-coaster bump of last October with me and so instantly felt the shock and disappointment of this news too. I’ve been so touched by how supportive and wonderful everyone I’ve confided in so far has been, when I haven’t really been much fun to be around. Craig was immediately on hand with an M&S picnic in Regents Park, as some situations only pink gin & tonic in a can can fix. We sat gritting out teeth and “enjoying the sun” (it was about 15 degrees!) for as long as we could muster before skulking to the nearest Starbucks for a hot chocolate to thaw out. Typical British summer antics! My beautiful Kate literally landed from her holiday in Mallorca and slept for approximately one hour, before rushing to London still in her holiday clothes, to whisk me for a stealthy brunch and much needed vent. My mum was an absolutely champ, taking a dash across London from Paddington to Kings Cross to spend a couple of hours watching the new Kings Cross development being built before taking a train back to Yorkshire. & I can’t even begin to list the millions of thoughtful things Nick has done, precious glimmery sparkly moments to make it impossible to be glum; one of them might have included an AMAZING dance to the entire 3 minutes of Aretha Franklins RESPECT (shhh!). That and chocolate moustaches. Safe to say I have had a much needed word with myself and remembered how lucky I am, whatever happens with my health in the future.

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The BIGGEST thing Nick did for me to put a crocodile grin back on my misery guts face was… he has successfully broken my The National curse! Out of the blue a few weeks ago, they added a random July London date in. From the second I heard the news, I knew I just HAD to be there. Intimate venue, walking distance from my house, super SOON! We embarked on an early morning stroll to work where we sat at our respective office computers frantically pressing f5 f5 f5 on the Roundhouse website. Tickets went live at 9am and predictably with The National, the internet broke! The Roundhouse website wasn’t structured to cope with such a vast quantity of hits and before long the site was down, the phoneline was cutting us off and breaking the curse was looking more and more unlikely as I was cheerily informed I was number 3947 in the queue for tickets… Just as we were cursing ourself for not showing up in person to the box office (the old school method is always the best way!) Nick said those glorious words “I’ve got them”! With some serious hacking prowess he managed to avoid any queues and glide through the crumbling website, to bag us a pair of level one tickets so I can scamper to the front and gaze up at The National. I am welling up just listening to them and imagining seeing them live, so imagine what kind of hysterical creature I’ll be on the night? That’s if I get there though… I’m still imagining a piano will fall our of the sky on me as I walk to the gig doors! Lets hope there really s nothing stopping me this time.

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Anyway sunny sparkly service as usual resumes, but now you know why I had a fortnight of sad facing about the place. Like a Skeleton Key will be a little quiet this week, as I fly to Cannes later today and am work work working all week, my schedule barely leaves time for a pan au chocolat or napping, let alone blogging sadly! I’m really curious to experience Cannes and will definitely be back with a vengeance next week to let you know how it was.

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  1. Helen’s avatar

    Oh doll, what rubbish news 🙁

    But I’m glad you have such mega mega people around you to pick you up when you need a cuddle.

    Have fun in Cannes! xx

    Reply

    1. Bee’s avatar

      Thanks petal! It is, just really really crummy and no hiding it. But thank you for your lovely message! Like with anything a bit rubbish – it’s the people around you who get you through and make you realise you can get through the bleakest of things if you have brilliant people around you. I’m very lucky! x

      Reply

    2. sally’s avatar

      Oh….BLOODY NORA!!! Jeeeez what a shit time for you. After reading this and in a completely non-odd weird sort of way, i want to give you a huge hug and put the kettle on! Bless your little heart. Your friends and family sound like one in a million.

      Although going through nowhere near what you have, just over a year ago, after a long drawn out ‘whats wrong with me i dont feel right’ episode which lasted almost a year, the doctors thought i had an ovarian cyst. And eventho in the end i didnt(long boring story!) ; i know how you feel a little bit.

      Hope you have lovely lovely time seeing The National and in Cannes (not jealous at all!) cry your eyes out and shake your bum to their best tunes!!

      Chin up cheesecake, sending you lots of love xxxxxx

      Reply

      1. Bee’s avatar

        Firstly – I LOVE being called cheesecake! What an amazing endearment, I’m going to use that ALL the time!

        Not-weird at all, I feel like I want to give you a hug all the time as you’re such a cutie. One day we can share a Bluebird Tea and have a good natter! It’s amazing how many people I have spoken to who have/know someone who have an ovarian cyst or some form of endometriosis issue. It really helps to feel like so many people can empathise! It’s also been weird having to talk about my ovary so much to people… as it feels so intimate in a weird way! Not like if I had a cyst on my foot or something.

        Thanks again for your beautiful thoughts and yes, crying and shaking my bum at The National will definitely be good cheer-up therapy.
        x

        Reply

      2. grania’s avatar

        what utterly rubbish news 🙁 so good that you’re surrounded by such super people, and fingers crossed that the unwanted body pet remains particularly timid in its actions x

        Reply

        1. Bee’s avatar

          Thanks glorious G. And yes! Lets hope pet-y doesn’t get to comfortable and realises this time he is most certainly NOT wanted. Congratulations to you too on your incredible run, I was following it keenly on twitter and you smashed it. You must be so, so proud. x

          Reply

        2. Kate’s avatar

          *big fat brunch hugs*

          Reply

          1. Bee’s avatar

            BBBFF (Brunching Blogging Best Friends Forever)

            Reply

          2. Craig’s avatar

            YOU’RE THE BEST.

            end.

            xx

            Reply

            1. Bee’s avatar

              But you’re an actual hero. And a rockstar!

              Reply

            2. Craig’s avatar

              YOU’RE THE BEST.

              end.

              xxx

              Reply

            3. Sean Murricane’s avatar

              Oh FOR FUCKS SAKE BEE.

              That’s rubbish on such an epic level. Big hugs to you – glad there’s enough positive to overrule the negative, and here’s hoping the pet doesn’t decide to grow any further.

              Much love to you both.
              x

              Reply

              1. Bee’s avatar

                Thank you super Sean. Yes it’s just grim, like I’m never ever going to escape the hospital system! Definitely going to make the most of my ‘grace period’ and talk to my body pet every day and tell it to shrink shrink shrink. If only I had Jedi mind powers!

                x

                Reply

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